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Post by morted on Sept 17, 2015 18:11:07 GMT
There goes another broken heart
Instead of notches on my bedpost
I've got skulls around my neckbone
Maybe now they'll believe
Now that they can see
The monster in my soul
When I lash out I lash in
Pass the bottle til I'm glassy-eyed
But these wounds Everclear can't sanitize
No cure to be found
Love spreads the pain around
This cycle will never end
This isn't the first angel whose wings I clipped
Aiming for redemption but always miss
Why am I curse like this?
“You poor thing.”
Oh, please, aren't you listening?
The world doesn't need another monster like me
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Post by Admin on Sept 17, 2015 21:30:47 GMT
Hey Morted- nice to see someone else finally post, and of course it would be poetry. I don't know shit about poetry unless it's Victorian or Elizabethan.
But as a reader I can help with any hiccups I see. The first stanza, second and third lines, may have a bit much on the count- just one though.
Other than that I can't really help you workshop this-- hopefully we will get more members soon-- but I do like it. Whatever that's worth.
Really glad to see posts other than my own. Keep at it!
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