Post by Admin on Jul 26, 2015 13:25:02 GMT
So why did my submission get rejected?
A lot of the time the answer is simple: If you feel like you could possibly send your piece to a more "professional" (read as pretentious) magazine then we don't want it.
Take that as a compliment... I guess.
One of the other main reasons is that your piece is a beautiful creation. We don't want beautiful shit, we want the vile visceral writing that is reality. The vulgarity that humanity had to experience after science ripped away the guise of the immortal soul. The truth not some eulogy. Eulogies are for the dead, and the dead don't fucking matter.
Surprisingly enough too much vulgarity is a quick way to get rejected. Do not be that kid on the bus that just learned to swear. What's the fucking point? Yeah we swear all the time, but it's a thin line between coherent and just dumbassery.
Relevance. If it isn't relevant to your story don't write it. Nothing pisses us off more than reading a great piece just to have to slow down in the mire of fluffy shit. Why write something that isn't conducive to the story?
Soulless. If your piece has no soul or emotion we won't read it. You don't have to grab us by the nuts on the first paragraph, but something in the first page should make us experience sensation. We love to laugh, we can't cry so try your best, and we do have a preference for purging like a bulimic person at a buffet- help us vomit without shoving our fingers down our throats.
You can always email us to find out exactly why we refused to publish your piece but be warned- there is the possibility that you are just a talentless cunt.
By the way, if you are refused by one of us do not email it to the other unless you have eviscerated and decapitated your piece to the point that it is unrecognizable. Double submitting like that will get your ass black-listed.
A lot of the time the answer is simple: If you feel like you could possibly send your piece to a more "professional" (read as pretentious) magazine then we don't want it.
Take that as a compliment... I guess.
One of the other main reasons is that your piece is a beautiful creation. We don't want beautiful shit, we want the vile visceral writing that is reality. The vulgarity that humanity had to experience after science ripped away the guise of the immortal soul. The truth not some eulogy. Eulogies are for the dead, and the dead don't fucking matter.
Surprisingly enough too much vulgarity is a quick way to get rejected. Do not be that kid on the bus that just learned to swear. What's the fucking point? Yeah we swear all the time, but it's a thin line between coherent and just dumbassery.
Relevance. If it isn't relevant to your story don't write it. Nothing pisses us off more than reading a great piece just to have to slow down in the mire of fluffy shit. Why write something that isn't conducive to the story?
Soulless. If your piece has no soul or emotion we won't read it. You don't have to grab us by the nuts on the first paragraph, but something in the first page should make us experience sensation. We love to laugh, we can't cry so try your best, and we do have a preference for purging like a bulimic person at a buffet- help us vomit without shoving our fingers down our throats.
You can always email us to find out exactly why we refused to publish your piece but be warned- there is the possibility that you are just a talentless cunt.
By the way, if you are refused by one of us do not email it to the other unless you have eviscerated and decapitated your piece to the point that it is unrecognizable. Double submitting like that will get your ass black-listed.